Louder than Loud!

When love is really real.

When your heart has opened and has been allowed to feel.

When you give it your all, when you die it your best,

and once again has to face the reality of a heart that can break...

I wake up early in the morning, and the absence of you is louder than loud.

It yells inside my head. Screams out in agony that you are not here with me.

You are no way near me in my physical reality.

My heart calls out in love, calls you in, calls you home.

Why could you not receive my love?

Why was it too much for you?

My silent tears are streaming down my face.

Tears of release, because this is what I have to do.

Release even the thought of you, release you.

As I said to you time and time again when we were as one:

In my heart there is always room for you, and in my love, you are forever free.

But in the absence of you my heart is not.

Your name is written on it.

Tattooed and cannot be removed.

What on Earth do I do?

In physical absence, you have never been closer.

Even if I only feel pain, when I remind myself of the past, or look to a future that hasn’t happened yet, I keep it real, I keep it close, because it is the only place, I can find you near. Because in my now, you are not here.

When we met I knew you were the one.

There was no doubt in my mind, neither in yours.

We knew it from the start, we knew it in our hearts;

there is a ribbon in the sky for our love.

There can be no past without you now,

because you were here and left your mark.

There can be no present without you,

because I keep you in it.

If there has to be a future without you,

I will it to the best of my ability.

I will move on carrying you in my heart,

Forever near, forever here, forever one.

My swan song for my swan-man...

With all of my heart, with all that I am

I love you, my man!

From my heart to yours...

Elizabeth Lund

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